Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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