I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize