I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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