Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
