I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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