Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
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