why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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