one might say we're banned from that church
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
