Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
why is half of my head shaved?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
