Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
