so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize