u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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