apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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