Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
