I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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