Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
