dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
