jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
