I must be too annoying 4 u.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I've blown a few things in my day
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize