i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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