Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
