there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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