life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
