it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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