Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
