I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
