i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
