how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
