Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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