who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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