went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
