The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
