dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
