I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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