watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
