I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
