We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
