yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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