Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
