Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
