Duck Duck Cougar?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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