if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She even gives head with a lisp.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Randomize
