Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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