Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
