Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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