New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
