Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
we made out on top of his cat.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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