Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I would ride that face into the sunset
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
