you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
