dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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