i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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