apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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