cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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