sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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