Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
