Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I just want to make out with him forever
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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