I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
