made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
No subtext here. People are naked.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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